My Husband Yelled About Our Divorce In Front of The Kids

The best way to tell kids about divorce is for both parents to gently break the news in a safe environment. My ex-husband yelled it out in a fit of anger.

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What can I give?

It’s time to try something new to address our challenges!

2020 knows Krav Maga because it just keeps kicking us in the balls!

But instead of panicking and going crazy, it’s maybe time to reflect on what we should get out of this.

Every aspect of a crisis can teach you something. I went myself into one a few years ago when a maniac tried to kill me. Went for four weeks into isolation imposed by the cops, and entered some intense self-preservation mode as well.

What I learned from it was that:

Don’t give up into the darkness. It is very easy to let go, to just give up and fall apart.

You need to stand up and fight back. It’s in everyone capabilities, in our instinct. That choice to take it and fight or to run away.

That’s how I got out of it. I never gave up, I never renounced. Cops were and probably still are very curious and doubtful about the reason why I never went down during the fight. And to be perfectly honest, I don’t even know myself.

My attacker jumped me from behind and hit very hard with a hammer on the front of my head. Cracked it open right away, 18 stitches from just that one hit. To make it powerful he ran jumped and hit… Same idea as a Dunk!

But I didn’t feel anything, I didn’t go down and even didn’t realise right away what happened.

That’s the reason I believe in miracles. There is no reasonable explanation about this. I don’t get it, the cops and the jury believe it, even seeing it on tape… anyone who saw the video didn’t understand and to all these people, it made me look suspicious. Some facts are not to be understood I guess.

Anyway, all this little adventure of mine taught me a few lessons. Few things make me stronger today to handle my life and especially that current crisis.

The first lesson and most beautiful one is about the power of friendship and love.

I was amazed at the time about the behaviour of some people. Some in a bad way obviously but some and I’ll focus on them only in the good. Some friends or some people I recently met at this time, took great care of me. They were here for me, they cared, they listened to me or even just stayed next to me to support me. One of them stayed with me for 3 weeks. without talking almost, respecting my fears and anxiety, not asking anything or being curious or demanding. He just stayed, in silence, enough for me to feel safe and secure. This I’ll always be thankful for! I don’t know if I could have made it without him.

But outside of him I also met incredible persons, some friends, some colleagues, some mentors at work too who cared about me as much as if I was their kid!

We all have friends and it’s a perfect time to reconnect with them. But also to connect with strangers. We all can bring something to someone else. Being a compliment, an advice anything comforting.

It’s time to be good to our neighbours, to help the elders, to respect them and show consideration. the Corona might touch everyone as it mutates but so far the elders and weakened people are the first casualties. Let’s be good to them and help them!

Do you want to help?

Then don’t be selfish! Don’t see the isolation as a new way to enjoy some free time and go to the beach. Don’t see the empty street as a playground left for you to enjoy.

Isolation won’t stop the virus but help to contain it as much as possible. If you respect the rules, you’ll allow health services to treat the people at risk and not for them to be exposed all at the same time. The fight is not against the Virus, as there is no cure as of today, but against the speed which the virus spreads. I can’t believe I am seeing today people flying around to go to places and enjoying themself risking the life of others.

We, the younger generation, are not at risk yet because we were lucky for the COVID 19 not to be too strong but we never know how it will evolve and what is to come.

So don’t spread it, keep your distances and respect the government’s advice to stay home. People who didn’t respect the quarantines and flew everywhere are already the main reason for the actual disaster. And for what?

To enjoy themself a tiny bit they risked other’s life. How selfish is that? Are you willing to take responsibility for the damages you caused if you infect someone unintentionally?

After walking away as nothing happened from two hammer’s hits on my head I am the first one to have that sense of invulnerability and I am not much worried about myself. But still, I fear for others. And we should all, so please act accordingly.

The second lesson is to always see the bright side.

Whatever we do, there is always a bright side. For me, it was to move to Israel, that whole story kind of led me to move here. Let’s use this time to self reflect, maybe do we need to change our perception of life, our sense of priorities.

To refocus on what matters.

I also had to rethink my priorities after the attacks. I was 37 at the time, living for my job and working my ass off to be where I was. 12 years into a consulting firm to work 7 days a week and sacrificing everything to get the job done. To reach that position I was in part of the New York office, in one of the most prestigious consulting firms in the world.

I can confess to you something, when I had that guy in front of me, keeping hitting or at least trying for 2 minutes, 2 minutes of fighting is a very long time, at some point, I realised I was going to die. Or that he won’t stop till I was on the floor.

Did I see my life passing in front of my eyes? nop… I just felt angry.

Angry about the people around me not doing anything to help me. Angry about myself, because I spent so much time at work, and less with my family. Angry that I didn’t have kids or loved one to survive me, angry that the ones who will miss me won’t have anyone to remember me… It changed my life.

Kids are a blessing. And it’s what I want to focus on today. But let’s not focus only on me either ;)

My point is that we all need to have that awakening one day that allows us to realise what we need to do, what we are here for and what we should bring to the world. It can be through a life-threatening experience like mine or an easier process. The most important thing is to have that thought process. We need to wake up and to realise that life is more than what we can buy, more than Instagram posts and likes and more than instantaneous and selfish pleasures.

It might be the best timing for all of us to reflect on what we want from life but also to understand what we can give. What are our skills and strengths? How can we help others and support them?

The third lesson is to keep the faith.

Faith in you and the universe :)

It’s a difficult time and it’s hard to see where it’s going. Economies are crashing, governments responses are most of the time very hard to understand, even if I do consider myself lucky because I do believe Israel took strong decisions pretty fast. But let’s not be political. The most important is to stay positive and respect the rules. To be responsible and civic.

Don’t panic and don’t spread the fear. We must remain calm and one of the best ways to do that is to help others to remain calm. Don’t give up to fears and panic and everything will be fine. Stay positive. Only positive thoughts will bring positive outcomes.

Ans if it’s not possible to stay positive all the time during all the challenges we will meet in our life, just surrounder yourselves with positive people. People who love you and will bring back the sparkle every time you’ll lose the sight of it.

Maybe the cure to that situation is actually to stop focusing on ourselves but to turn towards others? Let’s be responsible and loving to the ones who brought us on earth, let’s respect the sacrifice parents and elders made for us and let’s do the best to protect them.

And the last lesson but also a very important one, to be grateful.

Because never do we realise all the gifts life provided to us. The best way for me to realise that was after all of my adventures. I had to go through surgery on my hand that was damaged during the attack. I had 5 surgeries in total. The second one didn’t work and I kind of had to go through the process of grieving the loss of a finger.

Believe it or not, it’s a very strange process. You feel like you lost someone. In denial at first, then angry and finally you just accept.

After all the shit I went through, I sometimes found it difficult to be surrounded by people unsatisfied of their perfect life. But I also came across the path of people who lost an entire arm. And I then felt stupid to complain about my finger.

All of this, not to complain about what happened to me, but more to illustrate that having a job, a family, kids, good health, are gifts we should be thankful every day. And yes maybe we will have to be quarantined, maybe we will all have to be confined home or whatever, but don’t complain of what you were gifted.

Don’t complain about your wife and kids being home, don’t even complain about being home, at least you have one. Be thankful for your kids, your partner and everything you have.

let’s not see the glass half empty. In those time it’s a perfect opportunity to change our habits, to be grateful for everything and everyone we have around. Let’s try to assimilate and process that everything we have is not for granted and that it’s a gift we need to enjoy every day.

Let’s be loving and caring for everyone and it can only succeed.

I hope everyone will get well and so our families and friends.

Peace,

My Husband Yelled About Our Divorce In Front of The Kids

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