5 of the best ways to Feel your Feels

I was the kind of girl who pushed her emotions away. I was taught to keep them in and bottle them up. It got to a point where I would have so many feelings bottled up, that one day I just exploded. I completely broke down. I ran from home; I left my family and friends behind. I just needed to get out. I didn’t know what I was feeling, and I didn’t know why I was feeling it. This was way before I learned what an empath was. I found out a couple years ago that I was an empath. I didn’t understand why I was feeling all these emotions and I couldn’t identify them. In crowded areas I would get so overwhelmed and a lot of the times I would publicly shut down. I didn’t realize that these emotions I was feeling, weren’t mine. It took a lot of soul searching for me to realize that. (I’ll do a whole other article on empaths).

Once I learned I was empathic, everything began making sense to me, and I realized not all feelings I felt were mine. I also learned that every feeling has a message, and it’s up to us to figure out what it is. Your inner self has so much more wisdom and power than you realize. It tries to communicate with you via your emotions. It often goes ignored and it makes you feel even worse. Think of it as a different language between you and your body. You just need to learn the language.

To learn this language, you need to learn the basics. Feeling your feels.

Identify the feeling

First and foremost, you need to figure out what you are feeling. Seems kind of obvious, right?

Am I sad? Mad? Nervous? Scared? Happy? Overwhelmed?

As humans, we are going to have feelings that we don’t quite understand. Meaning we don’t always know what we are feeling and why we are feeling it. Having these feelings are a way that our inner selves protect us from danger; they let us know when things are going good or bad or anywhere in between.

According to Psychology Today, there are steps you can take to identify your feelings.

Start by taking your emotional temperature.

Ask yourself these questions:

Identify your stressors.

Ask yourself these questions:

Notice if you start judging what you feel.

“I don’t have any reason to feel upset” you may say to yourself. Wait for an outcome before assuming the worst. Personally, my biggest struggle is trying to predict what will happen and then basing my feelings around that. I get upset over things that haven’t even happened yet. We tend to chastise ourselves. Honestly though, life events generate feelings. Though we decide which feelings to focus on, we don’t decide to feel or not feel. It’s our priority to identify them and give them room to breathe.

Speak about your feelings and let go of the fear.

The more we admit our fears to ourselves and our loved ones, the more likely they are to diminish in size. The more bottled a feeling is, the greater its intensity. Feelings function like a pressure cooker: Pressure increases without release. Then, once released, the intensity is reduced. Feelings that are denied or dismissed do NOT diminish in size or disappear but are intensified. That pressure will just keep building.

Give your feelings, whatever it is you’re feeling, the freedom to come and go as they please. Welcome them and accept them for what they are. Don’t try to change them. Your feelings don’t want to be changed; they want to be accepted just as anyone does. They are there for a reason and it’s up to you to figure out what that reason may be.

Keep reminding yourself that it is okay to have these feelings.

According to Summit’s Edge Counseling, “‘Sitting with it’” involves tearing down the protective walls, allowing yourself to feel the emotions without judgment, and eventually accepting them as they are. Raw and painful as they may be, expressing them allows air to breathe and healing to occur.”

You’ve already identified the feeling and validated it. Now it’s time to take it a step further and dig a little deeper. Take five to ten minutes to sit with your feelings.

Ask yourself questions such as, “Where is this feeling in my body?”, “where am I holding tension?”, “What color is this feeling?”, “How does this process feel?”.

There are a ton of ways you can express your feelings in healthy and productive ways. It could be as simple as journaling, dancing, listening to music, crying, punching your pillow, taking a walk outside, taking a bath or a shower, writing affirmations, stretching, and even creating art.

Talking to the emotion is a good practice as well. If your emotion was separated from your body and standing in front of you, what kind of things would you say to it? What would you ask it?

Track your feelings throughout the day. The best way to do this is to bring a little notebook or journal with you and as your feelings roll in, just write them down. This will help you pinpoint when your emotions change and help you understand why. What are your trigger points? What time of day do your feelings change most often?

Pay attention to your body. Check in with yourself occasionally by asking, “How am I feeling? And where am I feeling it?”

It’s important to feel your feelings and not keeps your emotions bottled up. It’s okay that you feel a certain way. Identify it, validate it, sit with it, and express it. Allow yourself the freedom to have emotions because we are only human. Keeping our feelings bottled up will only cause you to feel worse until you finally explode. Your feelings are the part of your mind soul and body. Your divine self is trying is trying to tell you something; so, don’t ignore it. Listen to it and be grateful that it’s there.

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